Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
