What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
