please come you make the beer taste better
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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