Even the bartender felt bad for me
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
