I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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