i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
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I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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