Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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