dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
nutella sex= disaster
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
