i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
