Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize