The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
