She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
