I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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