While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
