seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
