i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
