she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
