Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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