That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
