What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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