its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
