I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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