Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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