its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
