We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
