i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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