the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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