I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
