Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's like God shit irony all over that family
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
