She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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