I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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