My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
