He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
