i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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