I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
