I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
