he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
