if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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