So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
