I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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