i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize