Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
