i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
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I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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