remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
