i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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