Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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