Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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