dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
