You work out of a Hotel?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
