we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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