She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have aggressive nipples.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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