It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize