Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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