How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
MIDGETS
????
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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