those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
