So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Less talking, more tequila
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
