Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
