i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
