I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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