Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.

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(330): I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry. (1-330): Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now. http://tfl.nu/tk0f

Replies (28) Good night (842) Bad night (4266)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...

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(416): I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed... http://tfl.nu/ew3h

Replies (18) Good night (1729) Bad night (4628)
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(914): View more from New York

she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?

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(914): she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal? http://tfl.nu/dwfw

Replies (20) Good night (1417) Bad night (4263)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.

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(215): I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex. http://tfl.nu/q0wq

Replies (8) Good night (1174) Bad night (3155)
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(971): View more from Oregon

We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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(971): We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable... http://tfl.nu/8m1y

Replies (12) Good night (3174) Bad night (1278)
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(616): View more from Michigan

i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.

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(616): i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/oy0i

Replies (9) Good night (2257) Bad night (1159)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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(937): Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower? http://tfl.nu/53j7

Replies (4) Good night (1647) Bad night (583)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.

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(580): So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep. http://tfl.nu/hhhj

Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (2049)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.

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(423): I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ. http://tfl.nu/ko9e

Replies (11) Good night (1516) Bad night (704)
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(607): View more from New York

I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

(315): View more from New York

Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.

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(607): I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! (315): Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch. http://tfl.nu/yk91

Replies (16) Good night (4383) Bad night (886)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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(609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs

Replies (11) Good night (1220) Bad night (479)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

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(609): Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order. http://tfl.nu/89fj

Replies (8) Good night (404) Bad night (1194)
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(434): View more from Virginia

All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday

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(434): All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday http://tfl.nu/0n0q

Replies (1) Good night (652) Bad night (342)
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(718): View more from New York

I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!

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(718): I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO! http://tfl.nu/huwu

Replies (4) Good night (548) Bad night (411)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.

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(816): Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less. http://tfl.nu/zrff

Replies (0) Good night (477) Bad night (262)

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