hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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