I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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