not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
