So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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