The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
