So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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